Hello esteemed readers,
Today I’m going to take a break from our usual schedule and introduce the first, and quite feasibly last, entry of a blog that will accompany the stories that you’re slowly beginning to love. Writing a blog has always been something I wanted to do and has absolutely nothing to do with yesterday’s realisation that the chapter I’d prepared for today was even worse than usual. We keep our standards low here at When Scribes Collide but sometimes we (I) defy the impossible and fail to meet them anyway. Having said that we’ve managed hit our posting schedule every week since we started which way harder than expected (this is evidenced by my previous attempt at a blog which was awesome and you should totally check it out, here’s the link https://funtimeswithsam.wordpress.com/ ). But as I said, the driving force behind this post has nothing to do with any of that so let’s move on.
Obviously the first challenge when writing a blog is figuring out what the blog should be about. I thought about to sticking to stuff I like but there’s a million different gaming/film/music blogs out there and quite frankly they’re probably better than mine would be. So with all that stuff (and subsequently nearly everything else) off the table I decided I’m just gunna wait until an idea comes to me. This was a terrible decision to make on a Friday afternoon hours before my post was due. That’s not to say that the beginnings of ideas didn’t cross my path, for example I had a detailed debate at work about whether a baby or a fully grown adult would be juicier to eat (the answer is clearly a baby, the fact that it made it to a debate is staggering) which led me to the topic of ‘things worthy of discussion but people might get offended so we probably shouldn’t talk about them’. Unfortunately with a blog such as that one, it would require more than just my input because otherwise it wouldn’t so much be a discussion as it would be just one man blogging about eating babies and I’ve seen our metrics, we’re not getting any input. Though to be fair, I’d read a blog about eating babies so maybe I won’t throw away this idea quite so quickly.
My second idea, which I must add was greatly encouraged by my writing partner, was to publish a list of my favourite celebrity sex tapes. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Do it!”, but again, there are downfalls. Firstly, I haven’t actually seen that many celebrity sex tapes so my opinion is somewhat lacking on the subject and secondly, celebrities aren’t quite keen enough on exhibitionism these days to make it a worthwhile venture. Truthfully, ‘baby eating and similar topics’ is a much better idea and the more I write about it the more I find my self leaning towards the idea. I must also mention that I considered “The Similarities In the Mating Rituals of Giant Otters and Aardvarks” as a topic but after quick research it appeared that the similarities are limited to the fact that they both have mating rituals and thus that dream was ended.
So as I approach the end of this inaugural blog post it seems as though I’ve managed to both convince myself that this blog shall be renamed “Things Worthy of Discussion But People Might Get Offended So We Probably Shouldn’t Talk About Them: Volume 1” and successfully distract you from the fact that I failed to write a competent chapter this week. Maybe they’ll be a “Volume 2”. Who knows? Maybe I’ll instead become an organised and functioning human being. Either way, next Friday something will be posted (at the very least you’ll get a meme, if you’re lucky it might even be a gif) and I hope it’s the start to our new story so make sure you come back then and have a read or I’ll eat you baby.